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Can We Appreciate Four-Way Stops?


I have often found four-way stops frustrating, so for a while now, I've been preaching to my husband about the superior qualities of traffic circles. You see, I studied efficiency in college. Process improvement is my bread and butter. And if anything makes traffic easier, it's the traffic circle. No waiting at a timed light while an intersection is empty. No having to turn around if you miss your exit. And perhaps most importantly, no more confusing four-way stops that make you think about the rules every time you arrive! Who goes first if we all got here first? Did I actually get here first, or did that van arrive a couple seconds before I did? Traffic circles take care of all that for you. No stopping, no wait, just go.

However, a couple of weeks ago I had an encounter that made me rethink my harsh feelings toward four-way stops. I was on my way to the library and stopped at an intersection that I frequently drive through. It was a four-way stop, of course. Another vehicle coming from the right stopped at roughly the same time, so I waved at the other driver to indicate that I acknowledged her right-of-way. She crossed the intersection. I then continued on my way to the library. All was finally right with the world.

What was so important about that moment? It struck me that I was able to communicate with someone I had never met before with a simple wave, and I live in a place where that kind of gesture to other drivers is incredibly commonplace. We let others merge in front of us, acknowledge right-of-way at an intersection, or even say thank-you to other drivers all with a simple wave of the hand. Without inefficiencies like traffic jams and four-way stops, would that charming tradition still exist?

Thinking about that moment has led me to realized that not all inefficiencies are wastes. Slowing down forces us to see the people who are also with us in that situation. How often would we lose opportunities to show kindness or enjoy another's company if everything were optimized for efficiency? If we always pay for take-out with a shiny new app on our phones, there would be no more buying the meal of the person behind us in line. If we attend college classes or work meetings online, there will be no chance to strike up a conversation with someone else walking in the same direction on campus. If we always post and never print our photos, then the children of future generations may never hear the stories of those cherished moments from those who lived them.

I've come to appreciate four-way stops. While I still love the smooth flow that traffic circles provide, I can also enjoy the charm of these unspoken traditions that turn moments of inefficiency into opportunities for kindness and joy. I hope that the next time you arrive at a four-way stop, you'll be reminded of how God works all things together - including what feels like wasted time - for our good and His glory.


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